If you store alcohol, cannabis or prescription medications in the house, keep them out of sight. A place that your teen doesn’t have easy access to is best. Even if your teen is the one taking a prescription medication, help them manage it by giving them their exact dosage at the right time.

For prescriptions or cannabis, it can be as simple as buying an inexpensive lockbox. If you already have a lockable cabinet for liquor, consider storing cannabis there as well. Keep track of what’s in the house. If any goes missing, it might be time for a conversation.

Teens who see their parents use are more likely to experiment. If you do drink alcohol or use cannabis in front of them, make sure you’re also having open conversations about the risks of underage use.

Because talking with your children about substances helps keep them safe. Open and honest conversations with your child about the risks of alcohol, cannabis and other drugs makes them less likely to experiment. It may feel awkward, but your kids are actually waiting to hear from you.

Nothing makes teens shut down faster than an angry, judgmental or lecturing parent. For a productive conversation now, and an open door for future conversations, do your best to keep it natural and positive.

Get yourself centered before approaching your child. If you’re upset, try doing some yoga, going for a walk or just taking a few deep breaths before engaging with them.

Instead of having “the talk,” look for opportunities to work your concerns into everyday conversations. Find settings that offer privacy but don’t feel too constricting or distracting, like talking while walking the dog or going for a drive.

Look for ways to praise what your teen is doing right. Express concern—rather than judgment—where needed. For example, instead of saying you’re “disappointed,” let them know you’re “worried.” Praise the good in them, playing to their sense of self-respect.

Ask questions that encourage your child to elaborate and show you’re hearing by repeating back what they said. Don’t cut the conversation short—make sure they’ve expressed everything they need to.

Instead of horror stories, stick to discussing real-life consequences and the good reasons to avoid drugs and alcohol. Try brainstorming ideas for situations with them, like turning down drugs, or how to contact you in a risky situation.

It’s good to have a goal going into a talk with your teen. But if you don’t get there on the first—or second or third—try, don’t sweat it. Getting through to your teen can take time, and it’s often better to come back to it later than to force a confrontation.

Start early, before they’re hearing about substances from peers. Keep an open dialogue about drugs, alcohol, media influences, emotions, and other issues. Explain your rules and expectations. Return to these conversations often as your child grows.

Consistently showing interest in your child’s daily life helps you build trust and openness. That way you don’t suddenly surprise them with “the talk” about drugs.³⁴ Check in with your teen every day, then set aside family time once a week for longer conversations.³⁵

As your teen ages, it becomes more important to offer detailed and proven facts about drugs, alcohol and other issues. If your teen is looking forward to college or a career, talk about how drugs and alcohol could get in the way of achieving their goals.

Strong family connections that provide high levels of love and assistance help keep your children safe. If you have more than one child, find ways to spend time with each of them individually. Create quality time together by setting up family traditions like game nights, outings and meetings.

The next time your child lashes out at you, try responding with love rather than anger, such as, “I’m sorry you’re feeling that way right now. I love you, but it’s not okay to act this way.” Learn to be flexible when setting boundaries and to take the long view. Behavior trends will always come and go.

Your resilience is your capacity to thrive in the face of adversity. You can build resilience by tapping into your strengths as a parent. Build on that strength by using the resources available to you here in Vermont. That can help you give your child and your family the support they need.